Many parents try to set limits with their kids by using unenforceable statements. Although these might seem like a good idea at the time, unenforceable statements usually do not result in the desired outcome and instead create more frustration for the parent.
At Love and Logic, we have created some guidelines to help parents understand the difference between unenforceable statements and enforceable statements. Here are some examples of how to turn your words into gold. Remember that to be truly effective, the enforceable statement must be delivered with empathy!
Ineffective Technique: Don’t shout at me!
Love and Logic Technique: I listen to people who do not yell at me.
Ineffective Technique: Clean your room so we can go shopping.
Love and Logic Technique: I’ll be happy to take you shopping after your room is clean.
Ineffective Technique: Pay attention!
Love and Logic Technique: I listen to people who do not yell at me.
Ineffective Technique: You’re not going out without your coat.
Love and Logic Technique: You may go out as soon as you have your coat.
Ineffective Technique: Stop arguing with me!
Love and Logic Technique: I’ll be glad to discuss this with you as soon as the arguing stops.
For more examples of ineffective and effective techniques, check out our free article, Turn Your Words into Gold. To gain more insight on using empathy when delivering both effective techniques and consequences, listen to our audio, Keeping Cool When Parenting Heats Up.
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